T-SHIRTS

T-SHIRTS

So you’re too much of a cheapo buckethead jerkola to purchase a high quality City Name Sports Team Jersey, yet you still want to smear the CNST logo across your chest like the walking, talking, pooping billboard you are. Well our CNST thinktank (an actual stolen US Army tank which we dumped gallons of cow brains into on the hope that it would somehow become sentient and reveal to us all the winning Powerball numbers) recently came up with an idea that will allow you, the money-conscious hosenose, the ability to own a quality piece of CNST outerwear without forcing you to spend this week’s liquor money to afford it.

Please welcome the City Name Sports Team t-shirts, fresh out of the, uh, cardboard box! These suckers come in two different colors (black and dark navy blue) with two different slogans on the back. Have a look!

And here are the two different rear designs:

Each t-shirt is crafted from the finest 100% USA-grown cotton that just simply reeks of blatant American pride like that one spaceship which was going to fly to the moon but instead decided to blow up and kill everybody inside. The two different generic, vague, highly motivational messages on the back allow both friend and foe alike to know you’re simply bursting at the seams with home town pride and your team, the team of victors and heroes throughout the ages, has an impeccable record of besting opponents in various big games of monumental importance.

Each t-shirt comes with two different backs (“Defeating Opposing…” and “Local Regional…”) as well as two different t-shirt colors (black and dark navy blue). Choose wisely, as it may be the last choice you may make. You could, uh, have a heart attack and die just as you press the Paypal “complete payment” button. And then wouldn’t you feel like a real clown.

ITEM NAME:	ITEM PRICE:	SHIPPING:	TOTAL:	PURCHASE:
CNST Dark Blue (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (Small)	$6.95	$3.00	$9.95
CNST Dark Blue (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (Medium)	$7.00	$3.25	$10.25
CNST Dark Blue (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (Large)	$7.20	$3.25	$10.45
CNST Dark Blue (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (X-Large)	$7.25	$3.50	$10.75
CNST Dark Blue (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (2X-Large)	$7.25	$3.70	$10.95
CNST Dark Blue (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (3X-Large)	$7.45	$4.00	$11.45
CNST Black (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (Small)	$6.95	$3.00	$9.95
CNST Black (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (Medium)	$7.00	$3.25	$10.25
CNST Black (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (Large)	$7.20	$3.25	$10.45
CNST Black (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (X-Large)	$7.25	$3.50	$10.75
CNST Black (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (2X-Large)	$7.25	$3.70	$10.95
CNST Black (“Local Regional”) T-Shirt (3X-Large)	$7.45	$4.00	$11.45
CNST Dark Blue (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (Small)	$6.95	$3.00	$9.95
CNST Dark Blue (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (Medium)	$7.00	$3.25	$10.25
CNST Dark Blue (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (Large)	$7.20	$3.25	$10.45
CNST Dark Blue (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (X-Large)	$7.25	$3.50	$10.75
CNST Dark Blue (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (2X-Large)	$7.25	$3.70	$10.95
CNST Dark Blue (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (3X-Large)	$7.45	$4.00	$11.45
CNST Black (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (Small)	$6.95	$3.00	$9.95
CNST Black (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (Medium)	$7.00	$3.25	$10.25
CNST Black (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (Large)	$7.20	$3.25	$10.45
CNST Black (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (X-Large)	$7.25	$3.50	$10.75
CNST Black (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (2X-Large)	$7.25	$3.70	$10.95
CNST Black (“Defeating Opposing”) T-Shirt (3X-Large)	$7.45	$4.00	$11.45

We accept all major credit cards. US orders will usually ship the same week the payment is cleared, and can take 1 – 4 weeks for delivery depending on how incompetent either we or the US Postal System are. International orders can take anywhere from 4 – 8 weeks for delivery. All orders are packaged and shipped by myself, manually, so please don’t mistake this operation for some complex and complicated service like the one Amazon has; it’s just one guy selling clothing.